Congratulations! You are getting married soon.
You spent a lot of time getting to know your future spouse. And you liked what you saw. So much so that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.
You probably know their favorite color, favorite ice cream flavor, and whether or not they like cats. You also probably know their religious beliefs and political positions.
But you probably haven’t had a money conversation. For some reason, this is often a topic that gets left out of the “getting to know you” phase in dating.
To help you get this conversation going, here are ten money questions to ask you fiancé/fiancée before you get married:
- Do you give? Generosity is a priority. Discuss when and how much you both currently give and would like to give in the future.
- Do you save? The best time to save is now. Talk about emergency funds and retirement.
- Do you have a budget? Budgeting leads to sound financial decision-making. Learn how they develop their budget. If they don’t have one, see what they think about having a budget once you get married.
- How do you make spending decisions? Are they an impulse buyer or do they take time to consider each purchase?
- How much debt do you have? Their debt is about to become your debt. The debt will effect your finances, even if your name is not on the loan. Talk about what your combined debt will look like.
- Have you ever co-signed a loan? If they have, this is another debt to consider. Your future spouse is responsible for the debt if the other person fails to pay.
- How many credit cards do you have? If they have several, find out the reasons behind them. Even if you don’t accumulate balances, numerous credit cards can be difficult to manage. See if they are willing to close a few cards.
- Do you pay your bills on time? Missing payment will cost money and can decrease credit scores. If they consistently miss payment or have late payments, discuss how this might be prevented when married.
- Do you think we should have individual or joint accounts? Most know I am a big advocate for joint accounts. I give you my reasons here.
- How involved are your parents with your finances? And if they are involved—What do you think this should look like in the future? If both of you are not on the same page, parental involvement will cause significant marital stress. Take some time to get on the same page.
The goal of these conversations is not to determine whether or not you should get married but to get you both communicating about one of the most damaging topics to marriages.
And there is no better time to have these conversation than now.
So go to the coffee shop with your future spouse, grab a cup of Joe, and have a discussion about money.
Written by Art Rainer, member of the Summit Stewardship and Generosity Ministry Leadership Team.Get resources like this one directly into your inbox by signing up for the Stewardship Ministry Digest.The Summit provides free financial coaching to help you gain control of your personal finances according to God’s plan.Sign up here.